Helpless

I feel so helpless, fellow sojourner… )’: Whenever I see so much injustice going on, I can’t help but feel so little and incapable. I feel weak because I couldn’t do anything strong enough to end such atrocities. It hurts me, really, to know that I can only do *this much* right now. It pains me to see hundreds of people die from greedy wars. But somehow… It pains me more that I couldn’t do anything to stop it.

If only I had more power–be this political, economic or social–I would go out and be dauntless in defending those who are severely persecuted. If only I were in a position of great influence, I would honorably maximize every connection possible so as to deliver a stronger blow against large forces that continue to abuse, harm and dehumanize people. I would not be afraid to speak up and go against the Goliaths of this generation. Let the David rise up against the oppressor.

Oh God… May you help me help other people better.

4:22 AM

So much has happened in the past few weeks, my fellow sojourner. I would love to blog about it but I’m currently too consumed with a pile of new tasks. Allow me to just log-in here and share this momentary feeling.

It’s 4:22 am, sojourner and I can hear the adhanThe adhan sounds beautiful, sojourner. I’m reminded of Ramadhan.

I haven’t slept yet, you know? I’ve been working until now. I’ll make this last post, after which I’ll pray. Then, I’ll go to bed. Perhaps, I’ll get the mat and pray in our terrace. What do you think? No one would see me anyway. It’s pitch-dark outside. Do you think I’d still see any stars? Maybe not.

I’ll just listen instead. Listen to the chirping birds (who are already awake at this time. Can you tell me why? They sound beautiful too, though). I’ll listen to the plane’s engine hovering over the morning sky. I’ll listen to the cars I hear driving a couple of meters away. I’ll lie down. Rest. Imagine. Reflect and pray.

Then, I’ll go to bed (that is, if I even still feel sleepy). 

-From the song “Try” (by Pink)

As they say, “Expectation is the root of all heartache.” When we aspire for great things, we start expecting and hoping for certain outcomes. We work hard and dedicate so much just to achieve what our heart desires.

Then again, with many aspirations–especially the really big ones–the risk of falling is also too great. The more desire you have, the greater the flame you create. Successfully reaching your desire would raise you in a pedestal but failing to achieve it would burn you down.

Thus, in every great endeavor, remember to STAY strong. Do not let the fear of getting burned stop you from dreaming big. Work towards your life goal and do not back down. If you incur scars, then let those heal and serve as a reminder of the battles you’ve survived. Be proactive and keep moving forward!

For as you see, the greatest victories are EARNED by the strongest and most enduring ones.

So hold on, my fellow sojourner. Hold on.

Humility

In a society where even the most mundane things in life are shown and boasted, humility–as a virtue–becomes even more so elusive. Vanity, egoism and narcissism are heightened all the more by technology and the virtual world.

Indeed, to be humble–and to constantly strive for such virtue–takes so much discipline, courage and wisdom.

I hope it was easier to liberate ourselves from the inessential–to realize the things that really matter, and to be able to walk the fields of the earth in such humble and kind fashion.

Dream Unlocked

*** NOTE TO SELF:

Anything’s possible. Keep striving.
Serve and give back.
Leave the world a better place than when we entered it. ***

I’ve been busy the past few weeks and I just came back home. I flew to the other side of the world, after being given an opportunity to do so. I grabbed the chance and got more than what I expected. (Truly, Alhamdullilah!)

All I aspired for then was to seek funding and support for a socio-civic project that I had in mind. What I received though was far more than that. I had the chance to unlock one of my childhood dreams which is to visit the United Nations Headquarters in New York . I never thought that I would be able to do just that at this very moment–when I’m still fresh from college and as young as now. I NEVER THOUGHT that I’d be able to set foot in such a distinguished venue, and even be recognized–along with other young social entrepreneurs! I really never imagined that happening–not now, definitely not as early as now.

Yet, it did happen. It happened for real! :’) 

At the United Nations HQ, New York, USA

At the United Nations HQ, New York, USA

Of course, there are many other notable events that happened right after (such as being awarded by a New York State Senator–whoa!) but that–the visit to the U.N. and the Recognition Ceremony that happened–is perhaps the most vivid memory that I would keep dearly cherished in my heart. It would serve as constant reminder for me to consistently take on greater heights and conquer new obstacles in life–all in the style of honor and excellence.

As such, for all that has happened, my heart is now bursting with immense gratitude.

Gratitude

And

Desire

Desire to be better in life. To be stronger. To be more capable and qualified to both lead and serve.

I feel like I owe so much to God and the world that I have to work harder and more passionately in giving back hope, growth and opportunity to the people around me–especially those who are in need. A great leader is one who also paves the way for other people to achieve greatness themselves. As I once said, in a speech I gave out during the gala ceremony, “I am merely an INSTRUMENT of change.” I am an agent who ought to share, deliver and maximize all opportunities, as well as successes seized, for the betterment of others. 

This is just the start of many more things to come. From one dream to another, let us carry on!

Facebook Hiatus

A few hours ago, I went back and activated my main Facebook account. I looked at my timeline and saw that the last time anyone posted on my wall was in August 2013. Can you believe that? August of last year! I’ve been able to detach myself–for more than half year–from world’s most popular networking site.

In our generation, many would assume that deactivating one’s FB account is tantamount to “social suicide”. It’s crazy how our individual lives have been so wired into the online world–making it seem like Facebook (and other networking sites) should be a direct reflection of everything that’s going on our lives.

There are pros and cons to this, of course, but I won’t blog about that. Right now, I’m just writing in the hopes that this post could serve as a reminder for me. A reminder to balance my use of such networking site. So far, I’ve actually enjoyed the sense of privacy and simplicity my life had when I was “off” Facebook. Sure, I still had a “proxy” account running before (in place of my original account) but that account was mainly used for (1) work/studies-related duties, (2) receiving notifications from important pages, and (3) keeping in touch with some friends, especially those overseas. Other than that, I was able to really “detach” myself from the the chaos in Facebook and go back to the old days, when I was in better control of my time and when I heard important life stories directly from the people who mattered to me.

However, as much as I would’ve wanted to stay “off” Facebook and live a “simpler” life, I can’t take that option now. Again, because of work and socio-civic duties, I have to activate my main account once again so as to be able to add certain people (aka, my supervisors and ‘chiefs’) abroad. I can’t add them up using my “proxy” account because that account is blank and devoid of any information. They might think I’m a hoax, if I added them up with that account (lol).

So, what I have to do now is to keep the discipline I’ve had and be more conscious of the time I spend on the aforementioned site. For some reason, I find it more comforting to write  an anonymous blog here rather than spill so much effort on that site. I hope that in the coming months, I get to really maintain my “old” lifestyle–one which was simpler and, I believe, more humble and focused.

I must learn to lessen the inessential in life and instead, invest my time on activities and causes that truly matter. Facebook can both help me reach this end, as well as deviate me away from it.

Of course, I hope the latter doesn’t happen.